Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mom confessions

One of our kids is particularly "trying" 
Dragon is 7
and really doesn't have a need to please.  He does things because he is bored or felt like it and really, he isn't sorry.  I am working on accepting this.

Today the kids were invited to go see a movie with their grandparents.

When Dragon is out "en mass" with his siblings he tends to be jealous of "perceived" pecking order or something.  Dragon demands a lot of attention anyway, so when with his siblings he insists on getting more.  He also enjoys manipulating situations.  He thinks it is funny to get people wound up.  

His grandmother is reactive anyway.  She always has been.  My husband gets her wound up at every family event.  It drives me nuts.  Dragon is an expert.  His grandfather has a hot temper.  When he sees his wife wound up and Dragon enjoying the experience he lights up. 

The last several times they have all been together have been a bit explosive.  It is hard on the other kids.  So today, I told Dragon he couldn't go.  {I based that decision on two experiences.  One I am a big sister from "Big Brothers Big Sisters" to a kid whose entire life revolved around a troubled older brother.  My little complained a lot about all the stuff they could and couldn't do based on the oldest's issues.  Also, I have family experience with personality disorders.  The siblings of one family member in particular also got shafted when their brother's actions and inability to be socialy acceptable dictated what they could do as a group.}


As gently but truthfully (and so probably not so gently) as I know how... I tried to explain.

Though in tears that he wasn't going to the movies Dragon actually laughed when I said "It looks to me like you think it is funny when Papa gets mad."

OMG!  What am I going to do with him when he is in High School?

{on the upside he is obsessed with Disney's Remy from Ratatouille so I let him cook Oatmeal Raisin cookies - his choice - by himself.  That was one mess to clean up - flour EVERYPLACE - but he was happy with it.}


FoxyMoron said...

OMG you have an "Emily", Caillin! You described her perfectly as you described your son. Sorry to tell you it doesn't get better with the passing years, but your comments on the effect on the other kids were much food for thought for me.

If it's any consolation, on the positive side, Emily is a spirited and strong minded girl, things that will hold her in good stead later on, and qualities I delight in when things are going well. She's also REALLY funny. I suspect your little man is too.

The Half Assed Housewife said...

Not that it should matter, but I think you did the right thing. Even if he didn't seem to get it, maybe it will stick with him and will make a difference later.

Mommyof2girlz said...

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Molly said...

ooof. not fun, can't wait to see what my five, and two year old come up with in years to come! found you on under 100 followers on MBC! btw, want to learn more about your skin products!

Mommies-Miracles said...

Gotta love them even though sometimes we want to strangle them lol.

My said...

Sounds familiar. As I recall every time our grandparents came into town I was not allowed to go out with my them. My sibling all went, I had to stay home. I guess I was "the bad kid" in our family.

Debbie said...

There's one in every family! Those trying ones must be here to make us better parents:)

theselfloveproject said...

you did the right thing.

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