Tuesday, May 26, 2009

When you are a mother to boys...

This is actually NOT my story.

It is about my nephews.

I stole it off my sister's FB page. And for the record and Mrs. Lane-Hamilton and Mrs. Fuchs, "I stole it without permission."

But it is HYSTERIALLY FUNNY and I absolutely HAD to share. I'll beg forgiveness later...

oh, you need to know, C- is 7 year old male and M- is 5 year old male. Both are smarter than the average child their age and creative and...

"Yesterday the two big boys were playing upstairs when I heard C- give a blood curdling scream, followed by M- tearing downstairs to tell me "C- told me too!" and C- showing up to scream "I DID NOT!"
M- "Oh yes he did. He said bite my butt"
C- "I didn't want you to bite my butt!"
M- "He did. He said bit. (pause) I mean bite"
After inspecting the bite mark (man, M- really chomped down) I gave the slightly hysterical version of the "You don't do something just because someone told you to speech" to M- while chasing him up the stairs to time out. Followed by the "why would you say that" speech to C- while putting ice on his arse.
C- calmly explained that they were playing super heroes and sometimes in movies (his example was 101 Dalmatians, thank you Disney) the dogs will bite the bad guys in the butt.
"Yes, but those are DOGS"
"Well, I didn't want him to REALLY bite me, just pretend"
Followed by the whole "Bite my butt" is a rude thing to say and a rather stupid thing to say because they might actually DO IT speech."

Monday, May 25, 2009

Wax, gotta love it

The pool reopened today.  Yay!  Last year the neighborhood pool was closed at the end of the summer and then began extensive modifications, updating, and repair.  They promised to open it by Memorial Day and they did.  WooHoo!
So in celebration I decided I needed a waxing.
Gorilla In Pink Bikini Pictures, Images and Photos

Sometime during my second pregnancy I decided I really had always despised shaving and I needed to take up waxing.  I've stuck with it.
Since I cannot run off to the beauty parlor these days and even when I did my husband tended to  be furious over the length of my absence I went to CVS and purchased the do it yourself kit.

I actually found a brand I really like, with reusable strips, some time ago but as is my life these days I was in a time crunch and at CVS and they had an unusually limited supply.  Perhaps the time of year?  Everybody in town is do it yourself waxing???

The Sally Hansen Lavendar Spa Wax kit wasn't bad. The wax was smooth and went on well (but my bathroom was cold so it cooled off quickly and got thick and more difficult.) But wax is messy and I did find a kind in Colorado that wasn't wax based, I think it was pine based? and so it washed out of towels and so on plus it washed out of the strips so they could be reused. But any way;

Today I decided it was time to educate the husband on the whole "there is no such thing as natural beauty" culture. {after all I can't really reach the back of my legs...}  It seems we are all expected to be fit, put together, and smell nice all the time and non of this should be done on their time.  Yes well...

He has a new found respect for why it takes SO LONG at the beauty parlor.

Brazilian & Bikini Wax Pictures, Images and Photos

He has a new respect for the skill of those persons who do the waxing, it did take him a while to get the hang of it.  He actually said, "this is not as easy as you made it look" after he tried to follow my demonstration.

And then when a few stubborn hairs didn't follow along with the waxing I asked him to get out the tweezers...

And after one or two spots got all gummed up it was so obvious that it hurt he has a new respect for his wife's stoic pursuit of sexy legs.

Bikini Wax Pictures, Images and Photos

He did mention several times, "maybe you should look into laser hair removal." I'm not sure about that. I hear it hurts. And they'd need to guarantee it was permanent or why bother? And would that kick the psoriasis into gear?

Regardless, I do have smooth legs and under arms and I've done my part to make sure one more male in the population understands that this does not come easily.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Outdoor Wednesday

My Outdoor Wednesday, as part of a meme by A Southern Day Dreamer

Tuesday I decided to walk M-Lyons and Bitsy (in the stroller) and the dog down to the river. I think from my house it is maybe a 1.5 or 2 mile walk to the river. I'm not sure exactly. But while it feels like a long walk it is not at all intimidating. It is a mostly flat, all paved trail to the marina and there is a little picnic area on the side.

I did, however, have a meeting at the preschool at 1 Pm to follow up regarding Arbonne. {I had donated a basket to the auction at a Relay For Life event and the mother who won it wanted to meet with me} So we got about 3/4 of the way to the river and I realized I had not alloted enought time to get there, spend time and get back. After PROMISING we would head back later in the day I turned the stroller around. And that was good. I was able to get two orders delivered and do my follow up meeting and my girls were able to play with the other preschoolers at the play ground. Everybody was happy. Around 4:30 I packed up sandwiches, oranges, water, and corn chips (blue ones, my favorites). With all the kids now, we headed back to the river.


Tiger carried dinner:

It was really nice. A gorgeous day for a walk, nice spring weather neither hot nor too cool and for once not raining. We've had a lot of rain around here. Everybody was in good spirits and M-Lyons ran almost 1/2 of the way there. She should sleep well this evening.


May 2009

The ducks came to inspect our dinner and we let the dog "protect us."


hunting ducks

The kids played for almost an hour and we headed home.

Monday, May 18, 2009


Sparky joined our family at Christmas two years ago. My oldest was in 3rd grade and in the herp club and in love with reptiles (ugh!). She desperately wanted a snake for Christmas and there was no way I was going to say yes to that! So she started trying for a lizard, and convicned her grandparents to buy her one. They found a 6 week old baby bearded dragon and bought him and his "stuff" and here we go. I am the proud mother of a child with a lizard.

Sparky today:

Big Boy belongs to school but the teacher who runs the Herp Club has been sick (rumor has it he is not returning so Big Boy maybe permanent?) so Big Boy has been visiting since Christmas. I kind of like him. He is very social, bobs up and down to say hello and actually gets depressed like a dog if he is ignored for too long.

Big Boy in his terranium

The only downer about Beardies is that they eat live food in addition to their veggies. Mainly crickets and meal worms. Yesterday Beanie (my 11 year old) and her dad stopped at the pet store on their way home from grocery shopping for the humans. A while later we hear sobbing. SOBBING. At the top of the stairs. Beanie is besides herself. She can't even answer the question "what is the matter?" Finally she hiccups and gets out "the cricket bag exploded!"

Some 30 crickets are hopping around her bedroom!!! So we all rush in and spend a mad 5 mintues catching crickets. We caught maybe 20 or so... I'm sure the others will turn up! Yikes.

Poor Beanie was very upset for some time afterwards and finally calmed down. I reminded her that this is like the "don't melt butter in your bedroom" incident and she'll laugh about it down the road.

I'm off the music store for "lavo 2" medium reeds for the same child so I gotta run and get it done before carpool from private school for Dragon... but I'll post pictures of the Beardies later.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Fairy Tales Are Back! The Princess and the Frog

Yay! I adore, adore, adore, a good fairy tale. I like them at the ballet, in a musical, or at the movie theater. Doesn't matter. I love a fairy tale. On my little "safari apple homepage" thing that pops up I just happened upon this:


the trailer looks promising, but miracle upon miracles: Disney has returned to hand drawn animation! YES! They SAID "Lilo & Stitch" was the last one but yay they have changed thier minds. I am delighted.

Movie trailer is here

I just HAD to share...

{ I'll be saving up to take 5 kids and their mom to the movie theater in December and buy popcorn... know what that costs these days? yeesh!}

Thursday, May 14, 2009

What makes YOU feel important?

Or perhaps, what makes you feel not important?

Last night's temper tantrum was all about "important." Important and crazymakers. I have a pathological need for crazymakers in my life. I find them and keep them close. I was raised by them. My best friend in college was one. I married one. Julia Cameron wrote the artist's way which I've attempted to work through twice and cannot. I did, however, get as far as crazymakers. They are the people who NEED you. NOW. And anytime you turn your energy elsewhere they come running in to demand it NOW.

In college my best friend was not a night person. She was a morning person. She would call at 7 AM to take of business that was bugging her. She was fabulous and keeping her own boundaries set and good at saying "no" (although she'll tell you she wasn't) and she was fabulous at stepping over other people's boundaries and volunteering other people to do things. She offered up my pillow and blankets to an arriving international student (who had arrived without bedding) when I requested them back a month later I upset the student and in turn my friend. (Sorry, I was in college, I didn't have extra bedding.)

In the day of modern conveniences it seems being important means being too busy. The family member who announced she was moving into my house 2 years ago (and did and stayed for 7 or 8 months; displacing my child who two years later will NOT sleep in her own bed because she didn't for all that time so why should she now?) is always too busy to watch my children when I need her to but insists on having them over for a "big date" on her schedule.

The partner who wants to me to call is happy to spill for 10 or 15 minutes about their day but when I try to discuss mine I am ALWAYS told "oh, they are ordering dinner, can I call you back?"

While it does at times get old I understand my children's need to be crazy makers. It is a survival skill honed over years of behavioral evolution. "mommy pay attention to me or I might die" actually makes sense out in the wild somewhere. But what I've really had enough of is all the adults running around who still think they can act like this. And the minute I start carving out time for myself, or having some semblance of a schedule for myself or god forbid want to call and talk about my day need to start demanding from me. I'm taking on my crazy makers and drawing some lines. Either it is a two way street or you find a different street.

And by the way; it WAS an intense day yesterday. Miss D. who runs the preschool room has diabetes. She felt her sugar was low and stepped out to have a cracker and juice and I took over circle time and snack. After about 10 minutes I found our director and sent her looking as I couldn't just leave the class. Miss D. had started to crash, was awake but not lucid and the paramedics were called and it was a little nuts. Helping Mom and I did fabulous. None of the kids really noted anything. After 20 minutes one asked where Miss D. was and I said "she isn't feeling well. She needed to rest but she'll be back soon. Probably the next time you are here." which seemed to satisfy everybody. And we had a pizza party on the playground and one of the children in Bitsy's class was to ride with me over to fetch M-Lyons and one of the mother's was late to pick up and it was a very busy morning. I did kind of want to discuss it. And after asking if he was busy, and listening to blow by blow accounts of what he did today and who he talked to I WAS irritated that "it was time to order, I'll call you back" is what I was told when it was "my turn" to talk. And you know, I'm tired of these people expecting me to be their rocks, and their corners and not giving it back.

And so I did call and chat with my much younger but brilliant sister and admit that I DO need to look in the mirror and see what it is that I'm pissed about REALLY and what I can do to change it. Because the truth is, I cannot change the crazy makers. I can only change how I respond to them.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stacy's Mom...

Do you remember that song? I think it is 4 or 5 years old. Loved it. It made me laugh... but this is ridiculous.
fountains of wayne Pictures, Images and Photos

I am not a T.V. watcher but today I decided I needed to be home, to laundry, clean a bit, and I had the T.V. on and before turning it to PBS so the girls could watch "Sid the Science Kid" I caught this on abc news.

Mom has Plastic Surgery to Look Like Daughter
by Thea Trachtenberg and Imaeyen Ibanga
written article

Wow. {I have looked all over YouTube for video but it isn't there, yet. I'm sure it will be. I am not sure how to use abcnews.com's video and I'm guessing they probably just want us to link to it anyways.}

So I liked that they brought in Dr. Charles Sophy and asked him about this "trend." This is actually a trend; they are seeing an increase in cases like this one. And he calls it desperation and panic. I am SO GLAD that they are not saying this is okay. He says this mother is trying to regain something she lost and I have a while before I'm 50 but I really hope I never feel like this.

this is an older article

and while I was searching for a link to the video (you can see it at abcnews.com but I wanted to post it) I came across this blog:
Body Impolitic which is very interesting and includes video from bbc
but it is the middle of the day and M-Lyons and Izzy are shrieking and I cannot concentrate. I think I'm likely to just give up my looks completely (okay I have already I know) in exchange for having a brain that functions again!
But in the comment section on Laurie Toby Edison's blog there is mention of a French "artist" named Orlan, whose canvas is herself, and whose medium is surgery. I think. I'm not sure... okay here is an mnbc link to Orlan

orlan Pictures, Images and Photos

“The whole idea of (my work) is to be against the idea of social pressure put on a woman’s body,” Orlan said through an interpreter Thursday during a discussion of her work at Manhattan’s Museum of Arts & Design. The 56-year-old artist was joined by Dr. Dimitri Panfilov, a plastic surgeon from the private clinic, “Nefrititi” in Bonn, Germany.

although just to play devil's advocate, if the surgeons are performing the work is it "my work" as she says?

Anyway, this is one for Kristina P. she'd have fun with it.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Monday

It is raining raining raining here. It seems it has been for weeks. I'm waiting for somebody to show up and tell me where the ark is... surely I get to be ON the ark right? But as other areas are battling fire I'm not complaining or anything. And hopefully we will make it through August without water rations.

Busy day... got everybody out the door uneventfully and myself off to preschool. Our J has been having a rough time. Two weeks ago she was out with her mother at the grocery store and bumped into her birth mother. J's birthmother has given birth to 7 children and is pregnant with her 8th but the local judge has deemed her unfit to be a mother and so they have all been placed in foster care or adoptive homes. J is adopted so she is in permanent placement. Anyway, her birth mother recognized her and stated speaking with them. Apparently birth mother went off "you don't know who I am? I'm your momma!" J is only just 3 years old and found the whole thing very upsetting and she has hard a hard time at drop off at school since the incident. Her parents don't want to change her routine but it is killing them to leave her upset. Today she did better. Last week I picked her up, screaming, in my lap and whispered "mommy loves you and she will come back" over and over until she settled down. Today she just came to me for a hug and as soon as mommy was out the door she stopped fussing. A on the other hand totally regressed and fussed for a good thirty minutes. This hasn't happened since I've worked in the room but I guess it happened a lot in the fall. Sadly the teacher whom I am assisting is a bit tough love and she kept making it worse. I'd have A just about over it and just in sniffles and the teacher would say something rough and A would start all over.

A's mom does child care in her home so I asked her about that a bit at pick-up.

My Tiger is inquiring about Dragon's school. Tiger says "Mom I'd like to go to a school where they'll challenge me at what I'm good at." He is right. They did some cognitive testing in second grade recently and Tiger's lowest score was 95. But the kids get grouped "clustered" by their reading ability and so Tiger is not clustered with a group that moves very quickly. I think it bothers him that Dragon is now on a higher reading level AND math level because Dragon's school is a year ahead in math from where the public school is. So I need to find an extra $700.00 a MONTH. Anyway, A's mom does child care and gets paid $400.00 a WEEK! Really, a week! But then I stop and think about it; we paid so much for extra child help two years ago when we were getting it. Wow, I was spoiled!

So I looked on Craig's list just now, that is where A's mom said she found hers, but didn't see anything. I'll have to look periodically.

I bought a book to try with M-Lyons. My sister used it with one of her boys. "How to teach your child to read in 100 lessons." or something like that. M-Lyons and I just did the first lesson. It was fun! Easy... we'll see how it goes.
{it is "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons by Siegfried Englemann, Phyllis Haddox, and Elaine Bruner}

My box arrived from Books a Million: book club is reading "Water for Elephants" and "The Omnivores Dilemma." I think I'll start with "Water for Elephants" first.

Oh... and last Thursday Amy had the kids so I could go to the dentist. Amy's daughter Emma takes ballet and so M-Lyons went and watched. M-Lyons is very interested, and I think K is too. I've told K she should at least try it, she is built perfect for ballet. So I think I'm adding dance lessons to my summer.

Saturday we had K-Bear's Birthday Party. She insisted on a sleep over (my least favorite!) with her core friends. We had 6 invited and 5 who came. One's father was arriving home THAT day from duty in Iraq and obviously she wanted to be with him. The others came in at 5-ish. I set them out back with white t-shirts, pillow cases, and tie-dye kit. It was threatening to rain so we then hurried up and did the whipping cream fight. They had fun with that and then I had them shower up and change. Cooked dinner, and then after dinner and presents and cake (we went to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream cake and their freezer is broken - its been broken for months! at an ice cream store!!! so they have to be ordered 2 days in advance. well. I went home and made a chocolate cake which was dry. I'm not such a good cake baker. But the chocolate icing was fabulous.) And presents and then sent them all downstairs... they played games and Rock Band until about 1 am at which time I told them they were too loud and I couldn't sleep. They are all good girls and they were so embarrassed and got quiet immediately.

Sunday we spent recovering. I had left over chocolate cake for lunch and played "Lord of the Rings" with Dragon and then with Tiger and did a new Fancy Nancy puzzle with M-lyons. It was nice. Laura down the street felt badly that I was on my own for Mother's Day so she brought me flowers. That made me laugh, I wasn't particularly worried myself.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Flash Back Friday...


SCARY MOMMY's flashback Friday:
"This post was part of Flashback Friday and I’d love you to play. You know those posts that you wrote way back when only your mother was reading? The ones you wish actual people had read? That’s what Flashback Fridays are for. Don’t have any? How about that old story or photo that you could never find a reason to post? Don’t be shy! Republish it today, grab a button from Scary Mommy's sidebar, sign Mr. Linky and play along!"


The Denver Stock Show Parade January 15 2008

So today I was total "tourist mom" and pulled the kids from school to go watch the Denver Stock Show Parade - the show is through the weekend but we have bought Ski tickets and done the whole school thing and registration fees and I am just not seeing paying for anything else for a bit - so anyway - we get lost trying to find the parade route through the middle of Denver. Bitsy is hollering M-Lyons is singing (if you have heard M-Lyons you know she has volume and this pitch...) and I'm on the phone with Tim "okay I'm here... turn where? Oh I just passed it....) but we FOUND it and we hadn't missed it yet and we found parking and straight out of the gate after the police cars at the front were the cowboys herding longhorns through downtown Denver - not something a bunch of kids from Virginia get to see everyday. In fact I'm not sure I've ever been upclose to a Longhorn before and if I have it hasn't been since I was 3 and moved out of Oklahoma. Anyway - 10 feet from us was the turn so the cattle get to the wall of people in front and they falter and start backing up and sort of decided that my 4 short kids with no one behind them but me look like an easy way out. So I've got Bitsy on my hip I'm reaching for M-Lyons, I am seeing headlines of the Virginia woman and 5 kids who were trampled and visions of the family Texan shaking her head and wondering just how stupid ARE the people in this family and suddenly there were 5 horses creating a wall in front of my kids with cowboys calling and whistling and twirling ropes. It was the coolest thing. And it took about 5 minutes but they got those cattle around the corner and on down the road. The rest of the parade was rodeo princesses and fancy carriages and a team of riders calling out directions and the horses were sort of dancing... it was definitely worth getting lost and one of the cowboys rode over and gave K (10 yr old) a balloon... very cool day to skip school.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Meg in the Kitchen

Meg in the Kitchen

Meg {who writes Meg in the Kitchen and Meg on the bus} wrote a post last week entitled "Housemade Croutons and Creamy Goat Cheese Mint Dressing"
It got me all inspired. For some reason I not only needed to make it, I needed to make it NOW! So Sunday afternoon, my almost birthday girl and I went out. We did some birthday shopping for her friend Em and pet food shopping and went to Trader Joe's where bought 3 bags of apples (we eat a LOT of apples) and lots of other stuff to include; baguettes, mini cucumbers, green beans, goat cheese, yogurt and other ingredients...

While K made her cookies as I wrote Monday, M-Lyons helped me with the Creamy Goat Cheese Mint Dressing. I didn't read it all properly as I'm prone to do, so we ate it right away (the croutons were hot and I was hungry) so the olive oil did get to us a bit, but it was yummy. And very good with beans. And the day after very good with black beans and rice and tomatoes. And I am COMPLETELY hooked on housemade croutons. Oh, my, goodness.

Thanks Meg!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A Southern Dreamer's Outdoor Wednesday

Yesterday I stumbled upon A Southern Dreamer.
I really like this blog, and I like the companion Reading blog as well.

Wednesday is Outdoor Wednesday at A Southern Dreamer, which suits well. Last night we fell asleep to fire works as the Michelob Ultra LPGA Tournament Opened. So today... I drove over on my way home from picking up Dragon from school - the true madness that will be this weekend is only just beginning. I believe it is play off rounds, or perhaps today is actually just practice. Not sure which...

But there has been a break in the rain. I only snapped two pictures as the youngest ones were sleeping at home (while two of Dataxstream's employees packed up the ASUG booth and worked on loading it into the rented van and I was "on the clock" so to speak and there is no good place to pull over and snap pictures. And that run on is worthy of penciling from Mrs. Fuchs and possibly rivals Faulkner but anyway)


hosted in Kingsmill in Virginia


big tent is up, volunteers in ridiculous glasses decide who gets in...

Monday, May 4, 2009

My Oldest is 11 today!

Wow! How time goes by, how she has grown, changed, challenged and delighted us all... here's to you lovely daughter!

On her birthday I thought I'd treat you to a poem she wrote this year:


I am generous and loving
I wonder about my pets future
I hear my dogs bark
I want to stop wars
I am generous and loving

I pretend that I can fly
I feel my parents warm hands
I touch the hands of my uncle
I cry for my aunt
I worry about their future
I am generous and loving

I understand that pollution might go on
I say to save the animals
I dream that extinction will die
I try to stop polluting
I hope I will be able to stop people
I am generous and loving

written by K Yates

We had our customary waffles and ice cream this morning (yay!) and yesterday she and I ran out to shop for her girlfriend's birthday (the same as hers) and also ran into TJMax just for fun. She found a simple, classy, preppy (who'd have thought!) dress for "graduation" and a very fun summer skirt for less than I can make it for. At the pet store we stopped in for lizard food, petted a very sweet black mix dog named "Rosco" who needs a home, and on a whim decided to add some color to our fish tank. We came home with red platies (4) and two black mollies and two "dalmation" mollies and a new plant. It was fun to be out just with my big girl.

Last night she made cookies to take to school (she wanted to make them) and used up all the flour. So I took the opportunity (excuse) to cheat and stop by The Carrot Tree for cake. YUMMY!

5/4 Birthday 09


out of baking powder!
{there was more baking powder in the pantry}

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Google - Goats

somebody twittered about google and goats:

techxavOfficial Google Blog: Mowing with goats http://tinyurl.com/cgq7y9

so I of course buzzed over to take a peak:

Mowing with goats
5/01/2009 09:32:00 AM
At our Mountain View headquarters, we have some fields that we need to mow occasionally to clear weeds and brush to reduce fire hazard. This spring we decided to take a low-carbon approach: Instead of using noisy mowers that run on gasoline and pollute the air, we've rented some goats from California Grazing to do the job for us (we're not "kidding"). A herder brings about 200 goats and they spend roughly a week with us at Google, eating the grass and fertilizing at the same time. The goats are herded with the help of Jen, a border collie. It costs us about the same as mowing, and goats are a lot cuter to watch than lawn mowers.


Friday, May 1, 2009

we lost the 4 year old!

oh - my!!!

I took Dragon to a birthday party from 3:30 to 5 Pm. I left Bitsy and M-Lyons home with Daddy and Tiger and Bear were to arrive soon from the bus. I arrived back home later than I expected, close to 6 pm. My husband and two guys from work were in my garage assembling the "booth" for ASUG/Saphire (it is an SAP trade show/convention type thing) I ask the kids (I know my husband won't know) how their days were and where is M-Lyons??? No one seems to know... I figure she is off by herself some where. That would be normal for her and she is not one to overly worry about... after a bit, I ask again. No one knows. I start looking through bedrooms. No M-lyons. Outside, no luck. I walk over to the neighbors. NO. I'm starting to freak out...I've asked 3 neighbors and suddenly my husband remembers; my mother came by to get her while I was out (come to think of it I did know that was to happen.) Between nerves and embarrassment I'm totally done.

I hope this makes sense, I've tossed two shots of Petron and am working on a Margarita...



I love Dandelions.

I love their bright yellow faces
that seem so friendly poking up through the grass and cutting through gray rainy days
I love their stubbornness, and how very long their roots are, and how they just keep coming back
and I love watching children pick up the seeds
and the wonder and concentration
as the child blows and watches the seeds float away
to make new bright yellow, stubborn, weeds

I don't understand the obsession with green lawns
or why a dandelion is so offensive to the home owner

sure, in a vegetable garden it may not be wanted
or next to prize roses

but on average, I think way too many people
spend too much time
trying to rid themselves of a wonderful reminder
that summer is fun, that we should have bright smiley faces,
and that we ought to be a bit more stubborn ourselves and not so easy to thwart