Sunday, November 27, 2011

because sometimes it is ugly


what do I do with Dragon? He is only 9.

He's come pretty far actually.  His teacher called him "responsible" and "a leader" and the kid whose name she tells the substitute that they can "count on."

He is also still the kid who compulsively lies, steals, and demands to be first.

This evening I was sitting up in Tiger & Little Hawk's room.  Little Hawk can be restless at bed time and I don't think it is fair to leave Tiger in charge.  So I sit there until Little Hawk falls asleep.  In the room next door there was some weird clunking around.  And then the dog was making noise and so finally I went in to check it out.  Dragon says from his bed "the dog keeps walking around my bed."  Uh, huh.  And why would that be?  "What do you have under your bed that the dog wants?"  I asked.  Dragon dove under the bed to find out.  I noticed his backpack at the end of the bed and took a peek, 1/2  a loaf of Ezekiel bread and several packets of spreadable cheese from my husband's MREs, two boxes of pretzels and a granola bar.  "What is this for?" He comes up with some bogus story.  I ask him what else is in his room.  And eventually, underneath the bean bag by his bed, we uncover a sandwich of ezekiel bread and cheese spread.

I am not handling this calmly.  I am sure I must have starved in some other life because the fact that this kid hoards family food up in his room is always a hot button for me.  It really pisses me off.

Besides. cockroaches.  Need I say more?

And so after some screaming and yelling and hollering I send him off to find his dad and I go and read the best blog on the planet:

The Accidental Advocate

where I am reminded that: I AM HIS MOM
it is MY JOB to look for the gold. To love him where he is, not where I want him to be.

and so, after a bit of wine, and some online therapy, I trudge back upstairs.

"I am really angry.  But I am your mom, and I will always be your mom."

and damn it, we will get through this.

1 comment:

FoxyMoron said...

I need to go and read that blog.

And I can so relate to this stuff with Dragon, it's just so hard to understand isn't it?

And we are the mums (but that doesn't make us perfect) and we will get through it, and always, always love them.