Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Melancholy day

I know - think good! think happy!

But today I'm struggling.
There is always so much to do.  The yard is *not quite* done.  The upstairs are a mess.  I've been talking about moving rooms around for 6 months.  6 months!  And so I got started.  But...
Soccer has started.  Field Hockey has started and the boys are "behind" in Tae Kwon Do.
On Saturday we travel to the beach for a week and we miss all the back to school stuff, this happens every year, but we bought a fixed week at Hilton Head before we had kids in school and we obviously didn't think it through.  (there is more to it, but that is the simple version)

And then I hear randomly that all the *cool mommies* took their elementary aged kids to a concert last night.  Those kids are all friends with my kids.  One of those kids spent the night at my house Monday night.  But I never heard about the outing until after.  And all my preschool mommy friends are doing their things, and I find out via Facebook.  (sometimes Facebook is like Junior High and I just have to not engage)  And my husband is in Indiana.  And I'm running to all the practices on my own.  And suddenly having kids from high school age to preschool age seems very lonely.

It isn't something I ever factored in.  And then there is the family bit.  Both my husband's grandparents and my mom resent that my having all these kids has altered their "grandparenthood" they are not living the grandparent dream they anticipated.  I don't know if they consciously realize this.  But to me it is apparent.  My mom in particular resents that our adult relationship is not what she thought it would be.  I've had a toddler for 12 years running.  She wants them to grow up so we can go have coffee and check out cool shops.  One of my sisters used to exhibit signs of resentment too.

I started thinking about this a while ago and I realized that the mommy blogs I follow with families of several children, especially the ones that talk about adopted or fostered children, rarely mention the grandparents.  And so I wonder, large "untraditional" families, do you find that sometimes having "so many" kids can be isolating?

later:
which makes me wonder, what if one of the kids had ended up with a serious disability? How does that change people's ideas about being a grandparent?

2 comments:

Michelle said...

Well, I only have two kids, but our grandparents are really not engaged with them. It just is what it is and sometimes it gets me down, but I just try to deal with it. We are doing sports practice/games/and school. School started for us at the end of July! Crazy. I feel your pain.

FoxyMoron said...

Well as a grandparent who isn't in my grandkids' lives and not by choice I would love to be in the middle of a large, chaotic bunch of grands, to love them and help out and just be part of it all.
It doesn't always turn out the way we think it will.
Nice to catch up with you again!