Friday, September 14, 2012

High School-Parenting

I don't know if I can handle being the mom of a 14 year old girl in high school.
Really I don't.

It isn't because she has an attitude problem or she's turned into some teenage monster.
It is because it is so painful to watch her try to navigate the waters.

I don't think I realized how lucky I had it to have my brother.  Sure he was younger, so when we moved to our high school I was a sophomore and he was a lowly freshman.  But I had someone to show up with.  We went to the Friday night football game together, and then split up to find our friends.  But I didn't have to that long walk of shame in front of the bleachers by myself.  And in hindsight, he was very protective.  He never left me on my own, he made sure I'd found my friends first. (He found his faster, he had more friends than I did.)

My daughter has spent some time the last day or so trying to figure out who she can "show up" with.  At the football game, at the amusement park next door.  Just so she doesn't walk in by herself.  So she asks, "do you need a ride?" and gets the answer, "no thanks, I've got one."  And nobody thinks to ask if she wants to ride with them.

It isn't something I can fix.  It isn't something she wants to me to fix.  I am trying so damn hard to leave it alone.  It is killing me.  The tears just at the edge of her eyes are killing me.  The fact that she refuses to give up is killing me.  The fact that I was pretty close to the house, didn't date, had no real social life in high school and so I can't offer her any advice at all, is killing me.

Worse, her family isn't exactly helping her status.  We show up at her field hockey games with a complete side show.  The 5 year old is tired and just out of control after a day of Kindergarten, the 7 yr old is a little easier, the 2 year old is wild, and the 10 yr old is just awkward.

And then at the last game, her grandparents came to cheer her on.  Very sweet.  But after the game, the team stretches and the coach talks and they are in the far corner AWAY from the spectators and her grandparents walked all around the field to tell her "you did great!" in front of her team, during the coaches talk.  You could tell when she told her dad about it later she wanted to just shrink into the floor.

I liked it better when she was in preschool.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

It is just hard. No way around it.