Friday, January 18, 2013

off the back deck, Dec 26th 2012
I find myself up against a wall right now.  Fighting for opportunities, trying to keep the pessimists from winning, keeping doors open.

"If you aren't ready for the miracle, or magic, or opportunity, or whatever you want to call it, when it finally breaks through it is wasted.  Be ready.  Don't waste miracles."

I keep saying that over and over and over.

And then I keep saying to myself, stop and be grateful for what you have. Because I am so rich. In experiences, in love, in family, and even in things.

I am trying to find a way to let my oldest live on a mountain.  I think it is crazy that I am married to a man who picked me out a crowd one night because I knew what a ski racing turn should look/sound like, and that 18 years into our marriage we still live in a swamp, nearest snow with any vertical (minimal vertical) is 2.5 hours away and I am currently battling the High School to allow my daughter to move a test so that she can fly out West for a long weekend to ski and check out a ski school.  A ski school which has my husband hyperventilating because as blessed as we are we cannot afford it.  But if she doesn't apply then it won't matter if the miracle happens and the bonus comes through or we make the extra sales because she wasn't in position to benefit.  For 10 years I've been saying we have to move before she's in High School.  And she's in High School.  And we are still here.

So I find myself standing on the back deck looking into the Sunset saying "Thank you for everything. I really am grateful.  But I need one more thing..."

No comments: