Monday, September 9, 2013

openly defiant?

I have no idea what to do with an openly defiant 6 almost 7 year old. No idea. When you ask a child not to do something and they do it again. And you ask them again. And they do it again. And that something hurts, physically hurts, their little brother or the dog or another person.  What do you do?

I can't send her to her room.  She shares a room and she trashes the other person's stuff.  I can't send her outside, she yells.  Time out? Seriously? A time out? She *hurt* someone for the love of god.  Take something away? She doesn't care she just uses her older sisters' stuff anyway.

She can't have a conversation about it.  I don't know if she can't understand or won't understand.  Saying "mom asked you not to do that and you did" gets a "yes mom" asking why gets a "yes mom" or a "don't do that."

I don't know what to do.


JJ said...

This is my wife's area of expertise. She passes this along: Children often seek attention, and they don't care whether it is positive or negative. Negative attention gets a faster reaction. Try positive reinforcement. Reward the child for good things, rather than punish the bad. The reward need not be monetary. You don't want a sticker junkie! It could be as simple as helping you cook or going for a walk.

CailinMarie said...

JJ thank you for your comment. I will focus on positive attention. :)